What to Do when You Disagree (Part 1):
Updated: Mar 31, 2019
You're talking with a friend and they say something that you disagree with - and not just a little - but on a fundamental level. Like, pineapple on pizza vs. no pineapple on pizza. (BTW, pineapple on pizza IS acceptable and quite good.)
But how do you deal with the conversation that now could turn into an argument? That's where apologetics comes in, my friends, where you speak in defense of what you believe in. The key word here is "defense" because you're never attacking your friends for their beliefs, you're defending your own and encouraging careful thought.
Here are a few key points to consider:
Find Common Ground (without compromise)
Ask Clarifying Questions
Listen to Understand
(Another time I'll give you some more points and techniques, because there are a lot of them out there, but for now let's dive into these three and see why they're so important for the Heroic Catholic. )
The first point, Common Ground without Compromise is a way to build rapport and keep the conversation from escalating to a debate. We want dialogue, not debates. Conversations, not arguments. So you try to find something you think both parties can agree on, without compromising your beliefs and standards.
For example, back to our pineapple vs no pineapple on pizza, common ground both parties can find is that they:
think some pizza is better than others
and maybe they discover that they both like pepperoni on pizza, while they differ on pineapple.
Recognizing these points of common ground gives you a foundation to build on with the conversation and helps you remember that you're not talking to an enemy, you're talking to a friend. I'll show you in a minute how to use this tool in conversation, but first we need to understand our other two tools.